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  "Impending Doom 1 wasn't a total failure, and what we got from it replenished the empire with both materials and morale enough to sustain us. With that we were able to begin a different policy. The word 'treaty' hadn't been spoken so often by the government in official statements since we were divided tribes on our own planet, for quasars' sake... But it was worth it, wasn't it? And after years of dealing and careful movement and manipulation, the empire became strong. Strong enough to take another shot at universal conquest, and who'da thought that with that little shrimp out of the picture it'd all work so well!

  "It's taken us decades to get to this point. But if we had just given in way back then, all of it would have collapsed, just like everyone was expecting it to. We brought this empire out of the gutter. We made it into what it is today. We're the best damn thing that's ever happened to these people, and I hope they realize that!"

  The purple-eyed Tallest exhaled, and looked down from the ceiling. He blinked a few times to bring the moisture back to his eyes a little, as they'd gone dry. Eventually, Purple looked over to his left, and met his companion's wide-eyed gaze.

  He tried and failed to smile. "I, er... I guess that's the end."

  Red turned away, bowing his head until his chin nearly met his chestplate. "I'd forgotten that you cried that day..."

  "Oh, jeez," Purple said, voice shriller than he'd wanted. He didn't want that to be brought up again. "Leave it alone, will you? That was one nova of a bad day and it was like all of it tumbling down all at once. You've felt it, you know what it's like. Anyway, I got over it quickly."

  The red-eyed Irken didn't respond to that. Apparently his brethren wasn't in the state of mind to be reminded just how long it'd taken him to get over it quickly, and what Red had finally had to do to get him to that point.

  Purple started getting up from the couch. "I think that's everything. Provided you don't hit me on the head too hard at some point, I should be able to keep the whole story straight now. Well, I'm content now. Wanna get something to eat?"

  Standing up as well, Red said firmly, "Hold on. You're forgetting what we agreed on. I help you with the story, and--"

  "You wanted to hear the story!" Purple exclaimed, outraged. He placed his hands on his hips. "And we haven't had anything to eat since before we went down to the planet, and the ship just got a new doughnut shipment in, so--"

  Red smiled widely and brightly, eyes glittering just as they had when he was a boy. "Please?" he said, chipper.

  Purple's shoulders fell. He started to blush dark green in the face. "Fine..."
 
 

  Red ran his clawlike hands over the smooth, white cloth. He smiled warmly.

  "It still fits you," he said softly, touching lightly over the many folds in the overcoat. He was behind Purple, and at the moment was slightly taller in him because Purple was no longer hovering above the ground.

  "Of course it does," Purple said proudly. "Sorry I couldn't get this sleeve down. The bandages--"

  "It's all right." Red smiled. He hovered out from behind Purple and turned to face him. In time-enforced habit, Red's eyes started at Purple's feet and worked their way up. There were the crisp, sleek, white boots with the wide legs that stopped at the middle of the shin. Then the paper-white skintight bodysuit itself, covering over Purple's thin, frail legs. This bodysuit covered most of Purple, stopping at the wrist, ankles and the base of the neck. Purple's hands were covered in the small, white gloves ending just past the wrist themselves. The high-collared overcoat reached down to the knees in front and tapered up to the middle of the forearms around the edges, and the back was long enough to be a cape.

  Purple felt himself beginning to blush again as Red stared. "Don't look at me that way..."

  "I'm not thinking anything dodgy," Red said defensively.

  The violet-eyed Tallest conceded this. "But I know you're imagining yourself in my place, and in some ways that's just as bad..."

  Red smirked. He hovered close to his brethren. He drew up Purple's hand in his own.

  "You asked me something once, the last time I had you wear this outfit..."

  Purple looked unhappy at the memory.

  "And you'll remember that I didn't answer you. And that you looked like you had offended me and apologized for bringing it up," Red continued. "And you've been trying your hardest to forget having brought it up at all. Meanwhile, I still haven't given you my answer. Your story tonight really made me think about it, and I think I'm ready to tell you..."

  Purple's eyes lit up. He looked at Red, stunned and confused and hopeful.

  Red smiled, clutching Purple's gloved hand to his chestplate. He leaned close to Purple and opened his mouth to speak.

  The intercom buzzed. Both Tallest jumped, and Red immediately let go of Purple's hand. He hovered off to the door of their chamber, muttering curses.

  Purple faced the wall of telescreens and turned on the one for outside the door. It showed an overhead image for a very familiar female advisor. Purple seethed. They wouldn't have so much as a peaceful night now, much less any fun. He started pulling off the white uniform and looking for the pieces of his armor.

  Red jabbed the intercom button with a claw. "What is it, Dirn?"

  The advisor, still caught up in the concept that an advisor should not be addressed so haughtily by anyone, reeled a bit. But she said as sweetly as she could manage, "I request a meeting with my Tallest on a matter of utmost importance, regarding--"

  "What makes you think we care?"

  There was a long silence from the com. Snapping on his chestplate, Purple watched Dirn stare in disbelief at the door. He slowed in his dressing. This was new. Red and he had threatened Dirn in the past, but it was never with much enthusiasm; they couldn't seem to muster the same angry spirit towards her as they could towards most others. Red was snapping at her now.

  Red continued, "You and I both know that by 'utmost importance' you mean 'some minor thing I just felt compelled to bother you about at exactly the wrong moment'." Despite himself, Purple couldn't help but grin at that. "It's not going to work on us anymore, so go away."

  Under the surveillance camera, Dirn seemed to be pondering her next words carefully. Smiling, Purple slipped out of the armor and began to pull on his old uniform again.

  He'd finished and had joined Red by the door before Dirn had spoken again.

  "She is still there, right?" Red hissed, unnecessarily because his side of the intercom was off.

  Purple guestured to the wall of viewscreens. "Looks that way."

  "M-My Tallest, I..." came Dirn's voice through the com, cracking a bit as though she was under more stress than either Tallest had put there. "...I am astonished at your behavior!"

  Before Red's hand could reach the com button, Purple had already pressed it. "What, we're supposed to treat you special or something?"

  Red kept Purple's hand on the key, and proceeded, "Who's taller here, anyway?"

  They didn't even need to look at the viewscreen to see Dirn stomp her foot on the ground in fury; they could feel it going up through the floor into the walls where their hands were. Ooh, Dirn wasn't liking this...

  "Pray open this door, my lords." Dirn was struggling to keep her voice steady. "I most severely request that you open this door. I believe it would be in your best interests if you open this door." They had never seen or heard Dirn acting like this. This was the closest anyone had come to speaking a direct order to them since before they'd ascended the throne.

  And that was it, really. That was really it. They were the rulers here; not Dirn, not anyone else. Dirn hated every fiber of their beings and wanted to control them even more than the advisors had controlled Rarg, just to make up for it. They'd tolerated her for so long because they thought they could still control their own lives despite her. And now Dirn's special defense against going too far in her dominance was beginning to fail, and she was starting to say things she ought not say.

  Red paused to consider something. He released Purple's hand on the intercom button so that the link switched off, and turned to look at him. He stared at his brethren's face for some time, idly studying the familiar features while his thoughts lay elsewhere. His eyes glittered as he returned to reality, having drawn a conclusion, and Red said, "I don't think it's very proper to fire someone without being face to face..."

  Purple shrugged, and grinned maliciously. Soon after, Red shared the expression. He reached for the intercom key.

  Proper? Who cared about proper? Quasars with proper, it was the crap they'd been beaten over the head with since birth. They'd tried everything to reject as much of their training as possible, and how embarassingly hypocritical it would be to act how you wanted towards anyone and everyone-- but not this one or that one, because you couldn't do that.

  No. No more special cases. No more suffering quietly. This was their Irken Empire. This was their kingdom, and they'd be damned if they weren't going to be the kings.

  "And when we're done here," said Purple just before the key was pressed, "we're turning the ship around back to that planet. I want a rematch."
 
 

THE END
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  Finished at 1:28 AM, 27 October 2002.

  Please read post-fanfic notes for more.